An Analysis of the Celtic Warrior: What Deadliest Warrior Should Have Done

 By: Logan R.

Okay, we’re just going to dive right into this. We all know certain warriors, their culture, and their weapons have a tendency to be misrepresented on Deadliest Warrior. That much we all at least can agree on. Unfortunately, these misrepresentations can lead to a large amount of misconceptions about certain warriors. One such warrior that I felt fell into a vague stereotype, and was, however, well captivated, but just slightly lack-luster was my direct ancestor, The Celtic Warrior.

We all saw the Celt valiantly fight against the Persian Elite, and witnessed some pretty wicked tests in the process; Francis’s killer ability with the long sword and club, and even Spencer proved accurate with the sling, making any Celtic skirmisher proud, despite nabbing only one kill. I will admit, this episode was rather awesome, and at the very least, the Celtic Warrior spirit was captured, mostly due to the experts and their impressive testing if nothing else. As well as, of course, Dave Baker (who’s ass I will kiss repetitively through this analysis) and his ability to craft such fine Celtic Weaponry. However, the Celt was misrepresented in several areas, and I will attempt to break down what Deadliest Warrior did wrong, acknowledge what they did right, and revive the Celtic Warrior with a whole new out-look and weapon-set.

First off, Deadliest Warrior got it all wrong when they decided to call him the ‘Celtic Warrior’, and whilst there is nothing really WRONG with this, it just doesn’t really make sense… We Celts are an ethnic group that has divided itself into numerous clans, tribes, and families while still identifying with a single culture and similar language. At one point we Celts flourished from the Western Iberian shores all the way to establishing small colonies in Turkey and other parts of Eastern Europe after we claimed victory at Thermopylae and sacked Greece. In ancient times, the Celtic culture spread far and wide. So to say ‘Celtic Warrior’ is just rather vague… Perhaps a little TOO vague… The Celts of Britain fought just a wee bit differently than the Celts of Spain. In other words, ‘Celtic’ is a form of culture and self-identity, not a warrior class. Deadliest Warrior should have been a lot more specific with this one, at least stating which region and tribe this Celt hailed from. Instead we got a hodgepodge of different Celtic weapons and tactics, leading into a historical mess.
So how do we fix this issue? Easy! We simply establish what region or tribe our newly re-formed Celtic Warrior comes from! For me, it’s a no-brainer. Our Celt is going to hail from what the Romans referred to as the Great Celtic Civilizations… Gaul! Caeser waged war against several Gallic tribes from 58 BC to 51 BC, eventually conquering the whole of the Celtic nation. But, why Gaul? Why not Caledonia or Celt-Iberia? Caeser and several other Roman historians kept careful records of the Gauls, particularly their tactics and methods of fighting, during their conquests. Needless to say, we know a lot about them. We perhaps know more about the Gallic Celts than any other Celtic nation or tribe, save the dark-age Gaels.

So, we’ve gone from ‘Celtic Warrior’ to ‘Gaulish Warrior’. This makes developing a weapon set and other factors a lot easier on a historical level.
http://www.humanities.mq.edu.a​u/acans/caesar/GallicWars.htm Here I have provided a map of Gaul laid out during Caesar’s conquests. Our Gallic Warrior will specifically be from central Gaul called Transalpine Gaul (Gaul over the Alps). This is roughly yet, primarily where our Gaul will hail from. The clans from these areas were the staple of Celtic culture and civilization and a prime example of an advanced Celtic culture during the Iron Age. The Gauls of these regions were the most adept warriors and essentially fit the image of a typical Celt. In a word, the Gauls were very artistic and war-like. They were proud artisans, farmers, hunters as well as warriors. Roman sources claim them to be fantastic swordsmen, and even the legionnaires feared to face them in single combat.

So we’ve fixed the whole ‘Celtic Warrior’ issue… let’s move onto the armour and weapons…

Armour and general battlefield appearance: "The Romans... were terrified by the fine order of the Celtic host, and the dreadful din, for there were innumerable horn -blowers and trumpeters, and... the whole army were shouting their war-cries... Very terrifying too were the appearance and the gestures of the naked warriors in front, all in the prime of life and finely built men, and all in the leading companies richly adorned with gold torcs and armlets." ...Polybius, 2nd century BC

They may have been passionate fighters, but the Celts weren’t the naked savages running around the battle-field with no armour on their person like DW depicted… Well, not the Gauls anyway. When Julius Caesar, Polybius, and other Geeco-roman wrote that ‘The Gauls/Celts fought naked’ this is often misinterpreted. Unlike the Picts and certain Gaelic tribes, the Gauls rarely went into battle unclothed. ‘Fought naked’ just sort of meant ‘with-out any suitable armour’, and when they’re facing off against a well-equipped and heavily armoured Roman solider they minds-well have been naked, so to speak! Often, in times of battle, a Gaul’s clothes were ripped or worn-out, so he simply tore it from his person in the heat of combat. A brave Gaul may have even lost his tunic before the battle even began, in an effort to intimidate his opponent; this was not an uncommon practice. So, was it totally wrong to have the Celt fight near naked on Deadliest Warrior? Well…No. But, it wasn’t totally right either.
"Golden is their hair and golden their garb. They are resplendent in their striped cloaks, and their milk-white necks are circled with gold."
-- Virgil, 1st century B.C. poet

So what did the Gauls wear into battle? Well, not a whole lot of armour as Caesar and others noted… They certainly had chainmail, but only war-chiefs and nobles could ever hope to afford it. Gaulish warriors went into combat rather light; relying on speed and power rather than heavy armour. Everyday fashion was essentially the same as battle-garb. A tunic of wool or linen was worn, as well as the infamous plaid trousers, dyed elaborate colours. A plaid cloak-like garment made from sheep’s wool known as a ‘brate’ was also a common sight. They were a showpiece to typically display their wealth or the sewing skills of their ladies, being trimmed with fancy stitching and woven in colourful patterns and fringes. It was long and wide enough to be a blanket to use when sleeping outdoors, which served well when on campaign. The brate could be folded and draped a number of different ways depending on the activity they were doing. During battle and hunting activities, the brat would be folded and draped over a shoulder, other activities that didn’t involve much moving around, it would have been casually draped. Being a heavy, plaid woolen garment, many historians argue that it is the predecessor to the Gaelic kilt.

Perhaps the most important part of Celtic fashion, however, was the Torc! Gauls proudly sported the ‘Celtic Torc’ around the neck, with matching versions for the forearms or biceps, a symbol of Gallic freedom and culture. Typically made from bronze or iron the Torc was handmade to fit the specific warrior who wore it. Certain tribes did use war-paint, similar to woad. But only certain tribes in Gaul practiced it and was often only used in the greatest of war-times.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F​ile:Celtic.warriors.garments-r​eplica.jpg Replica Celtic armour set, shield, and Brate cloak taken from wiki.

But enough on Celtic fashion… this was supposed to be about armour right?!
What did Deadliest Warrior do right? Remember the armour test against the Persian Sagaris? The helmet was pretty spot on. Of course they came in different styles, but they were generally similar and served the same purpose; to protect your head! The shield, however, was a little off. It was a beautiful shield and I was even impressed they managed to fit the handle behind the metal-boss and not use it as a more medieval ‘strap-to-your-arm-shield’, but it had its flaws. For starters the very geometric design was more associated with the neighboring Germanic tribes, not to mention it was a little big… Celtic, and more specifically, Gaulish shields were more ‘oval’ shaped and a bit smaller. This would make the shield a bit less clumsy to the maneuverable Gaul, as well as easier to wield alongside his preferred weapon; the longsword.

http://www.redrampant.com/2009​/06/celtic-shields.html <-- I’ve provided a link to images and archeological evidence of various Celtic shields found in and around Gaul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=1GU7okS-2xY from about 5:30 to 5:56, Peter Woodward of ‘conquest’ demonstrates sword and shield techniques of the Celtic style with a prime example of a Gaulish shield!

Individuals: "They are tall in stature, with rippling muscles under clear white skin, they look like wood demons" - Diodorus Siculus, 25 BC
Here is where I will discuss and do in depth on the Celtic warriors training, life style, culture, and tactics and, of course, how they functioned as individual warriors. No Celtic group employed a regular military as we would understand it. Organization was according to clan grouping and social class As for training, it was rather somewhat similar to that of the Vikings or Saxons, in a roundabout way. All able-bodied men within Gaulish society were expected to become warriors; it was essentially a cultural necessity. Men of noble birth were given a vast amount of training and taught advanced swordplay and horseback skills. Elite Gauls were even able to throw javelins off of horse-back, even while retreating, similar to the Scythians and Huns ‘parting shot’. Depending on your noble status within Celtic society, you were often born into the warrior-class and expected to serve as bodyguards and sergeants to war-chiefs, druids who held political sway, and other important figure heads. These Celtic Elite often made up the cavalry regiments and were known in the Gaulish language as ambaxtoi, or ‘those who accompany’. Most men, however, weren’t of noble birth and were typical farmers, herders, hunters, craftsman and artisans, among other things. But that doesn’t make them any less of warriors! Celtic common soldiery was very similar to the Anglo-Saxon idea of the ‘Fyrd’; that is, a citizen militia which is given rudimentary training and can be assembled in a time of war. But what did this rudimentary training consist of? Many tribes made weekly, even daily training, required. You practiced sword-play, spear work, javelin throwing, grappling and wrestling techniques, war-chants, marching in formation, among other things. Many practiced strength training with stones, shaped logs, pulling ploughs; competitions of strength and sport were often held in time of festivals as well! Some things never change for Celts.

Essentially, training was simple, but effective. Many Roman sources wrote that the strength of the Gallic army lies in its infantry, they were fierce and passionate on the battlefield and even the legionnaires feared to face them in single combat. Even the basic Celtic infantry had an uncanny understanding of anatomy; they received this knowledge in their routine training. The Gauls were said to go for ‘death blows’ with their swords and spears, they aimed for key arteries and organs in order to achieve victory over an opponent. For the Gallic swordsmen, the arteries in the neck, back of the legs/hamstrings, under the arms, crotch, as well as the collar bone, liver, and kidneys, if they weren’t covered by armour, were all areas for which the swordsmen and spearmen aimed. These areas, when struck, were said to cause massive pain, significant bleeding, and result in death in a matter of minutes or even seconds. Gallic warriors, in a sense, were sort of like the Spartans, in that they lacked a variety of vast weaponry. The Celtic weapon set was simple; swords, spears, javelins, and a few others and that was really it for the Gauls, they preferred simple, direct war-fare. These were the weapons their ancestors used to great effect, and they weren’t going to let Rome, or anyone else, for that matter, change that anytime soon. But, what they lacked in variety they easily compensated with skill, speed, and strength.

Other then war-training basic survival needs such as farm work and hunting tended to keep most ancient peoples in relatively decent fighting shape. It was different time, and hard work was valued and accepted. Of course, friendly (and sometimes not-so-friendly) duels kept warriors practicing their techniques and in the fighting spirit. Needless to say, the Gallic clans were prosperous. They had developed a beautiful, artistic culture, comfortable living conditions, an unorthodox (by Roman standards) but effective military of citizen warriors, and had even claimed various victories against their Roman rivals through the ages. Most all Roman and Greek sources describe the Celts as large, muscular warriors, and more then that being ferocious on the battle field. This was, however, not just antiquity exaggeration, but held a lot of truth. Celts were large, or at the very least, muscular by nature, but also had to do with their training and diet. Most Gallic families and clans embraced the tradition of the hunt. The men in the family would often hunt for food, but it was also a jolly means of sport and sharpened your skills as a man and a warrior. Hunting was done with the spear, and the beasts were chased, cornered and killed. Then, dragged to the village and slaughtered. Celts respected the nature and the hunt greatly and often used every part of the animal, not unlike the Native American tribes.

Like the Romans, the Celts loved a good feast, often holding grand feasts on solsitices and in time of celebration. But, their diet kept them strong. The staple of a Gallic diet consisted of a lot of meat; venison, veal, partridge, pheasant, hare, beef, and, of course, boar, were all very common at the dinner table. Boar being the most prized, as it fed many and held a special significance to the Celts. The boar held a similar status in Gallic society as the eagle did in roman; it found its way onto war-banners and on numerous artifacts. Crops and large gardens were also kept and cabbage, leeks, onions, among other things was grown. Trout and salmon, as well as wild, fresh fruits were caught, plucked, and eaten seasonally…

But, hold on. First the fashion rant and now the Celts’ diet plan? How is this relevant? Where are the weapons? To answer that question, we’ll get to the weapons in just a minute. Bare with me. Secondly, why is what the Gauls ate important? Because stuffing a Celt full of fire-roasted red meat and boiled cabbage makes for a strong, hardy warrior and genetic stock. The Celts ate this way for hundreds, nearly a thousand years. There’s an old Irish proverb that says; "Men are like bagpipes: no sound comes from them till they're full." Just a bit of Celtic wisdom, you want fighting men, feed them! A lot!

We all know the Gauls, like most ‘barbarians’ of the time, fought in loose war-bands and employed physiological war-fare and scare tactics to their opponents, things like group chanting and battle-cries, banging their weapons against their shields, the wearing of war paint, charging in without any armour, etc. The Gauls favorite tactic was to work up the war band, soften the enemy line with javelins, draw swords, and then charge the line with a mighty bellow! The goal was to break the roman line and spirit. Much like the Spartan phalanx, if one gap was created, there was a chance of the entire formation dissolving. Once broken, the Gallic war-band had a chance at victory. If the line didn’t break in the first charge, you retreated, regained your breath, beat your shield a few more times, then charged again. Sometimes there would be a fresh line of troops behind the initial war band, in case the first war-part got tuckered out. Timeless, effective, needless to say, the Romans hated Gallic persistence. Although, this was the preferred tactic, Gauls had other means to defend themselves.

Their shields and spears were of fine craftsmanship and often decorated to invoke spiritual power. Gallic sword-smithing was even respected by the Romans, although there are mix sources on Celtic Iron and its reliability. There are sources that state many Gauls fought in a kind of loose ‘Phalanx’ formation, more than capable of marching with spear and shield in hand, and could even stop a cavalry charge. This does say a lot about the Gaul’s discipline and training, as well as possibly being adaptable since they more than likely took the tactic from the Romans. Staunch, proud, strong, and capable warriors… but not quite naked savages.
So, hopefully that gives you a brief glimpse of what life was like in the beautiful country of Gaul for the Celtic warrior. Not exactly the same ethos presented by Deadliest Warrior… but, close. I felt it was really missing the cultural significance behind it and playing too much off stereotypes. Hopefully this clears it up a bit.

Now… the weapons! What you all have been waiting for!
Weapons: Here is where I examine the more interesting end of the analysis… The weapons! And again, Dave Baker, the man who makes and designs the weapons for the show, is an exceptional weapon-smith and has impressed me immensely. The unhistorical, miss-use, or irrelevancy of the weapons is really the blame of the producers and/or the experts… Now, I will take a look at the Celtic Warrior’s weapon set from the show, examine it, see how it faired in the match-up, and then work with it as a bass for the new Gaulish Warrior. Note: Celt fought on chariot.

Short Range: Celtic Long sword; kill count of 170: This was probably one of Dave Baker’s best works yet. It’s a beautiful sword and proved lethal in the hands of the experts. Plus, it was historically accurate (HOORAY!) The length was near perfect for a sword of its make and the cooper hilt held some sort of anthropomorphic design which was spot on accurate. Over all, the Celt’s best weapon in the simulation, well demonstrated on and off the chariot, and over-all very accurate. Swords were expensive, however, even in Gallic society. Not every warrior could afford one, but they weren’t as uncommon as one would initially think. A well to do land owner or craftsman could afford one in a time of war. Most swords lasted hundreds of years if they were properly taken care of, and most warriors inherited their sword from their father or other respective elder relative.

Mid-Range: Lancea; kill count of 126: Besides the name and use of the weapon this spear was very impressive on a historical level, but it also adds to the fact that Deadliest Warrior couldn’t exactly settle on what they wanted from their Celt. First off, 'Lancea' is the name of a Roman spear inspired by the ones used by their Celtic foes, but not necessarily a Celtic weapon at all… Secondly, you wouldn’t throw this kind of spear. No. Not at all. For starters it’s much too long. Celtic spear, such as this one, measured around seven to eight feet (far too long to be used as a throwing weapon, although Francis did a fine job, nonetheless!) and were meant for close combat and formation fighting. It got some kills but, compared to the Immortals 247 it fell a bit short… It was an accurate spear though! The wavy ‘flame’ tip was rather common in and around Switzerland, where many of these same tips have been found in archeological excavation. If they were to have tested this properly, that is a two handed thrust at close range, we would have seen ample damage from the unique spear head.

Long range: sling; kill count of 1: Ahhh, the sling. History has some good things to say about it, but it’s constantly shut down by Deadliest Warrior… honestly, this isn’t a bad weapon by any means and holds great potential to kill. It just seems to fall short on DW. Celts really didn’t enjoy missile weapons by any means, save the sling and javelins. Bows were really reserved for hunting, and even then they preferred to chase the game with a spear. But they loved the sling. Rather easy to make, easy to carry, and easy to use. Most Gauls used slings to hunt pheasants and other fowl, as well as small game such as hares and such. They were also sort of the ‘bar room dart board of the day’, used to amuse, pass time, and prove skill among warriors. But, they proved useful on the battlefield. Skirmishing with slingers to harass an enemy line proved most effective, especially from tree tops, brush, or other covered areas. It nabbed only one kill against the Persian, but that’s probably due to the fact that it’s not the best weapon for a duel, being much more useful in mass numbers, as well as the immortal’s body armour. And as useful as it is… It wouldn’t be the Celt’s first long range option. That would be the javelin. More on that later.

Special Weapon: Burda Club; kill count of 14: It doesn’t take a genius to fire-harden a club and wrap two bands of iron around it, but, nonetheless, I had never even heard of this weapon until Deadliest Warrior. I’m still not sure how accurate it is… there have been bands of iron that have been found that could have easily been fitted to a club, the wood having rotted away a lnog time ago. But, what it lacks in historical evidence it makes up for being totally awesome. I won’t deny the tests for it were incredible. So, why did it do so poor in the sim? Answer; the chariot. Celts of Gaul stopped suing the by the 2nd Century BC, but the Britons still used them to some extent, and very effectively. But, unfortunately, this club didn’t have it’s time to shine. If the fight would have been on foot, I’m sure this weapon would have got 75 plus kills. But, as impressive as it is… It may not make the cut for the new weapon set.
New Weapon Set: Now that we know a bit about our Gaul i.e. where he came from, what his tactics and training was, even what he ate and wore, we can more easily establish a historical, but effective, weapon set.

Name: Gaulish Warrior
Era: 200 BC- 51 BC
Region: Transalpine Gaul

Short Range: Celtic Longsword- Not only is this the Gallic Warrior’s preferred weapon, but 127 kills against bronze armour? That’s text book. Easily one of the Celt’s most famed and powerful weapons and a noteworthy Celtic warrior isn’t complete without it.

Mid-Range: War-Spear- Essentially the same design as the lancea, but to a different practice. To be used in both hands or paired with the shield. The wavy, unique blade, dubbed the ‘La Tene’ spear head was incredibly effective against lightly armoured opponents, and served the Celt well to cause massive bleeding and deathly lacerations, as was his goal in single combat.

Long range: Javelin- The Gallic Javelin was short, typically no more than 4 or 5 feet, was made of hard wood, and possessed a long, narrow iron tip. These were thrown at a defensive line, and the narrow head served well to pierce through armour. A Celtic warrior would bring at least two of these weapons, probably strapped to his shield, attempt to harass the enemy line, then move on to his close range arsenal.

Special Weapon: Shortsword and sling- Despite popular belief, Celtic swords ranged from a simple twenty inches to four whole feet. The shortsword was essentially the Gauls dirk or pugio, a lethal side arm to complement his larger blade. It hung from the belt, on the opposite side of its larger cousin. When the Gauls charged a shield line in an effort to break it, they would run in with their longswords in an attempt to cleave shields and disrupt the formation. With any luck, the line broke, and it then turned to bloody close combat; that where the short sword came in. Against tightly packed roman infantry in close combat, the longsword became cumbersome, so it was discarded for a time being and the short sword was drawn. Excellent to make lethal cuts and punch through armour, it proved well at such close, lethal ranges. I threw in the sling for good measure, if there’s anything the Celt needs, its more long range fire-power. And it really can’t do him any harm. It’s light weight and could easily snag a few kills, or at the very least aid in the incapacitation of the enemy. Throw what javelins you have, hit him with a few rocks, then engage at closer ranges. 

Any feed-back and positive criticism is always accepted! Hope you enjoyed!

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